Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
