So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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