We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm both gender and math confused
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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