no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's official drugs can't kill me
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
