True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
