I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize