some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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