Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Welp...herpes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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