addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
