Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
