Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
