exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
