I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
