Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
