Your dad touched me again.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
