i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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