The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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