if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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