anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
