How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
