you guys were way drunker than both of me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
