remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
