think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
