Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
