Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
