You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
