btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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