I can tuck mytits in my pants
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
