Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
