Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
