We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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