I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
