Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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