No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize