Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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