i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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