Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
