Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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