the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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