ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
