I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize