omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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