So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize