So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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