his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
