Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize