you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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