Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
