what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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