dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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