I wish life had little blips of pornography
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
