He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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