And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
