He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Panties = found
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
