i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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