Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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