Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
