I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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