I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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