I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
