How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
