wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
