you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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