I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
