So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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